You are cordially invited...

Disclaimer: Let me start off this post by saying that since elementary school, I have had an unusual obsession with all things stationary related.  Back to school supply shopping day was always a thrill (I know, HUGE dork right here).  I would fully plan a color scheme for all of my notebooks, corresponding folders, pencil case and other such accoutrements to keep my schoolwork both organized AND stylish.  So, naturally, given this penchant for paper goods, you can understand my excitement when it came time to plan the wedding stationary suite.

 So, I got the ring, we popped the bubbly, picked a place and date.  Now, the real fun could begin!!

I seriously considered designing our own paper suite for the wedding, since I LOVE STATIONARY so much.  But ultimately we decided against it, because of my thorough cost benefit analysis (ie: we don't have a printer, would have to find and buy the cardstock, envelopes and appropriate ink, and I found DARBY*CARDS!!)

I started my search on ETSY for the perfect design for our save-the-dates.  We decided on simple design, using varied fonts, utilizing navy blue and hunter green (our wedding colors), and since the outdoors were going to be so much a part of our wedding, we knew that we wanted to include a simple motif such as a pine tree, antlers or mountains.  After a few minutes, I stumbled on Darby's shop, and it was ADORABLE. Lots of lovely cards, witty words, and pretty fonts.

Darby was so wonderful to work with, that we ended up using her to do our wedding invitations, response cards, jam jar labels, rehearsal dinner invitations, thank you cards and wedding ceremony programs.  She was super efficient, knowledgeable, fairly priced and totally got our wedding!

Darby*Cards has customized cards and invitations for all occasions, and I highly recommend checking out her shop for any of your pretty paper needs (spoiler alert: we'll for sure be ordering our holiday cards from her this year!)

In addition to the beautiful pieces that Darby created for the wedding, we also had a few DIY elements that I tied in with color, similar fonts, our wedding logo and the mountain motif. So my creative side got to come out and play a little, too!

Cheers!
Bee

Let the hunt begin: Wedding Venue

So, you've got the ring (finally!), all of the joyous calls have been made, and you and your love have settled on a time of year to celebrate your nuptials. Hooray!!

ENGAGEMENT BLISS!!!!

Now all you have to do is find the perfect place.  Sounds simple, right?  Well, unless you have a spacious and stunning family property at your fingertips, this is not as simple as it seems.  I must say, that this was the one single stressful part of planning our wedding.  

We decided to have the wedding in New England, since Tyler and I would be settling down in the Pacific Northwest ("it's only fair!" my mom exclaimed). We knew we wanted a spot with beautiful outdoor space and something simple in it's aesthetic. While I am a beachy girl, Tyler is a mountain boy, and we both agreed that a barn would be the perfect venue.  So, rustic mountain or beach barn in New England, close to Boston....simple, right?  

Not quite.  While there were tons of barns close to Massachusetts, the nicer ones were booked 18-24 months out.  Others were run down and didn't have accommodations in the area for our guests.  We began to extend the search north to Maine, Vermont and New Hampshire.  When my mom found one she liked, Tyler would say he had no connection to that area, having never been there before.  When I would like one, my mom would say it was too expensive for what we got.  Nothing felt right.

This went on for weeks. We would find a place we all agreed on, call for information, get excited that dates were available and just before putting a deposit down, realize that someone had a conflict with that date, or that the other sales-person had already booked the date.  It was an emotional roller-coaster of stress and disappointment.  As an event planner by trade, the lack of control I had was infuriating.  Then, 8 days before Christmas, we got in touch with the Salter family of Bishop Farm. They were quick to respond, a delight to speak with, had an available date that worked for us, the photos were gorgeous and most importantly, it gave us a warm fuzzy wedded bliss feeling.  Finally, I could be excited about wedding planning!

I simply cannot say enough about Bishop Farm.  The Salter family, who own and operate the farm from May-October each year, are amazing, delightful, kind, welcoming, energetic and phenomenal at what they do. What started as a quintessential New England Bed & Breakfast quickly turned into a bustling wedding venue.  The grounds are beautiful, complete with a fully functional 7 bedroom farm house and 6 quaint cottages sprinkled about for guest lodging.  The 1876 reception barn is stunning in it's simplicity.  And the chandeliers and voile curtains billowing in the doorway, is what dreams are made of.  There is a wooded switchback stairway that looks as though you're being transported to a woodland oasis and when you reach the top, a sunny meadow, perfect for an outdoor ceremony . Though the days leading up to our wedding forecasted thunderstorms for our wedding day.  To be on the safe side, we chose to have the ceremony in the newly finished Ceremony barn across the lawn from the reception barn.  It sounds like plan B, but I assure you it wasn't. When we walked in, the air changed, the lighting was pure magic.  Newly refinished antique church pews from Maine and giant stained glass windows gave it an ethereal quality; the crooked barn slats made the sunlight dance across the floor.  It was something out of a movie.  Aside from the unmatched rustic beauty of Bishop Farm, the Salters are the cherry on top.  From the moment we got to the farm they made us feel like family. Eager to help out, and not just with the wedding.  It never felt forced, or out of obligation, simply genuine kindness. If you're looking for the perfect New England barn venue, check them out first!
Bishop Farm Weddings & Events

These are my tips to selecting the perfect wedding venue for your day:

1. Know your must-haves and deal-breakers before starting the search:

Close your eyes and picture your wedding day...what do you see? If you don't have a mental picture, go ahead and browse Pinterest and see what appeals to you as a couple. For us the must-haves were:

Vintage New England barn or summer camp 

seats up to 150 guests 

running water and electricity 

on-site ceremony space

dog-friendly

plenty of local accommodations for guests

lots of natural beauty

within 3 hours of Boston

Now do the same exercise with things you ABSOLUTELY do not want the venue to have.  The deal breaker list is equally as important to know before you begin, to avoid conflict. For us, the deal-breakers were:

Lack of connection (Tyler didn't want to be married in a place he'd never been before)

new construction (we wanted something with history)

unappealing surrounding area (ie: beautiful farm next to a power plant)

everything was a package deal that couldn't be customized

pre-decorated reception space

a venue that didn't allow us to arrive early for set-up

a place that didn't feel like home

unfriendly coordinators

These may seem obvious, but even as an experienced planner, I thought that I could just jump right in  and pick a venue without making a list.  About 2 weeks later, we did this.  Doing so made it easy to decide weather or not to pursue the location.  

2. Be prepared for rejection

Much like the college application process, the wedding venue search can be full of rejection.  Some venues aren't strictly event spaces, so the coordinators may not always be at their desks or even know how to read their booking calendar.   In fact on multiple occasions, we had coordinators promise us a September date and take it back. Once, after giving a credit card for the deposit, they called back to tell us that another couple had booked the date an hour earlier.  Seriously, an hour?! You have a wedding venue and date! Just kidding, no you don't (cue the villain laugh).  

Had I prepared mentally for this sort of rejection, maybe I wouldn't have been so stressed out by the process. 

3. It's okay not to tour a venue in advance - but do your research

Living in Chicago, traveling for work, Tyler's family on the west coast and mine in Brazil for the winter...it was literally impossible to tour potential venues in December for an August- September wedding.

Thanks to the magic of social media, you can pretty much learn everything from on-line reviews, venue website, Pinterest, Instagram and local photographer blogs. Take your time, be thorough.

We did this and were so pleasantly surprised when we got around to touring the space, and it was everything we expected and more.  

4. Once the conversation with the venue has started, ask all of the questions

Want to have 1000 candles burning at the reception?  Want to have your neighbors llama in the ceremony?  Want to decorate the walls floor to celing with a million roses a la Kim Kardashian? You gotta ask first.  Some venues have restrictions to protect the property (totally valid) but if this doesn't work with your vision, then it might not be the spot for you.  

Before signing anything, take a really good look at the contract (also true for the rest of your vendors).  This way you can anticipate any additional fees, insurance issues, and rules that may not have been communicated in the initial info.  You don't want any surprises on your wedding day detracting from the joy.

5. Remember that this day is about you and your fiance - do what feels right to you

If you're feeling pressure from family to have a  different celebration than you envision as a couple, don't be afraid to speak up.  It is important to stand your ground.  After all, you could have just eloped! But do so with kindness, respect and inclusion.  You don't want to start off the planning journey with tension...that's where horror stories begin.

6. Trust your gut

If something doesn't feel right, don't settle.  If something feels amazing, and exactly what you envision, then try your best to make it work.  Your wedding should feel right!

Happy Hunting!

xoxo,

Bee

Life.

The past four months of my life have been both the darkest and brightest days of my life.  Unimaginable heartache, loss, a cross country move, stress, endless travel, the most beautiful wedding, and now a new marriage.  It's been an emotional roller-coaster to say the least.  

I am looking forward to sharing with you the wedding details, the planning process, the GORGEOUS photos and highlights.  I will share some advice on keeping yourself  sane while planning, managing the task list and how to stay on brand with your theme.  But, before I share all of my pearls of wedding wisdom, I need to send some feelings into the universe, and set them free.  Therapy, I guess you could call it...

In April,  3 days after celebrating her 67th birthday, I suddenly lost my mom to a heart attack.   She was healthy, active, fit, vibrant and full of sass and wisdom. How could she be fine one day and gone the next? It was so sudden and harsh and breathtaking.  But at least she didn't suffer.  That's what people told me.  While it's comforting to know, selfishly, it is no consolation to me.  I didn't get the chance to say goodbye. I didn't get the chance to have her hold my hand on my wedding day.  I don't get to call her someday, down the line, to tell her that she's going to be a grandma. She would have been the best grandma. I feel like I was robbed. That she was robbed of major life moments. That my father was robbed of his love, his wife and his partner of the past 40 years. Our whole family was robbed of her light and love. 

  My mom was my person. She was hilarious, sharp, curious, sentimental, empathetic and ditsy all wrapped into one.  She was my best friend, my cheerleader, my reality check.  She was my everything. We spoke 2-3 times most days, sometimes more.  When she was in Brazil every winter, we would FaceTime.  She never quite grasped the concept of the camera or that I could see her.  Most conversations consisted of me either being dizzy from walking around in her hand, looking up her nose or into her ear.  Like I said, she was hilarious. 

She's been gone for just over three months, and I still have dreams about her most nights, though I've slowly stopped waking up in tears when I realize that she's gone. All that's left now is a hollow feeling in the pit of my stomach. Sometimes, when I am distracted, I forget, and mindlessly pick up the phone to call her her about something trivial; something only she and I would think is funny. The urge to confide in her is overwhelming sometimes. I have amazing friends, a huge loving family and a new husband who listen, but it's just not the same. 

In her last voicemail to me, she scolded me for forgetting to pay a bill (not surprising). I listen to it most days, so as to not forget her voice, even though she was annoyed at me. What I wouldn't give to have her annoyed at me one more time...

 The last time we spoke, she was in HomeGoods, and called to ask me if I wanted her to pick up some chalkboards for the wedding. We giggled the whole conversation, giddy to finally be styling my wedding together. 

 The last time I hugged her was a few days before she passed, as I ran out the door before dawn to catch a flight for a business trip.  A flight I would have missed if she didn't wake me up (my alarm was set to 4 PM not AM).  She saved my ass all the time.  

The last months of wedding planning without her, I was meticulous to keep all of the details exactly to what she and I designed.  I wanted it to be exactly what she imagined.  I included her jewelry, photos, antique linens and favorite songs throughout the day, so that I could feel her with me. But it just wasn't the same. And on the days leading up to my beautiful wedding, I missed her the most. While my spirit soared to be marrying the most wonderful man, my heart sunk because she wasn't there.  I needed her to zip me up, tuck my hair behind my ear and tell me she loves me before going down the aisle. She did that, through my best friends, her best friends and my Aunts... but she was still desperately missed. But it was ok.

    It had to be ok, because life goes on, and she'd be really pissed if I missed out on the happiest day of my life.  Bittersweet, that's what life is.  Loss and gain.  Moving on but never forgetting.

Now that the excitement is over and we are falling back into a routine at home, it's harder than ever.  The excitement of the wedding is a sparkling golden memory.  But I'm left with tons of mental space with which to miss her. I will spend the rest of my life missing her, and that is ok too. Sadness is ok.  

She is always with me, just like Winnie the Pooh said she would be.

xoxo, 

Bee